I'm eating all of the evidence.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize