I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
