His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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