Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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