well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
