You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
