I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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