i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
