Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
