i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize