"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
