yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
