I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
