Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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