I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
