i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
