Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
