Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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