I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
