let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
