Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
