What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
