How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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