you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
