Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
