the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
