So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
