; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
