he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
