I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
