oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I came so hard my ears popped.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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