lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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