She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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