We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do vagina's smell?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
