She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
