Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Someone came in the potted fern
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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