so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
