Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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