it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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