good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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