i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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