The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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