I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize