If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
