I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
