am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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