it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
