Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
