u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
