I CAN MOONWALK!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
