your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
People in love make me want to vomit
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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