3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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