I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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