I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize