Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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