did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There r osticjed everywhere
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
