i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
