i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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