She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
