he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I lost the right to judge tonight
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
