I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
