5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
