I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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