Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
