But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
