You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
