i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
