these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize