seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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