if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
there's paper in my vomit.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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